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My goodness, what a cool dry week it's been; not the Nova Scotia April we've had in our 5 springs here which have resisted letting winter go.

It wasn't quite so cold on the weekend as

Wally worked towards finishing Forget-Me-Not Cabin's roof.

By mid afternoon the help had arrived to take away the old tool shed

but after a conference, they decided the field was too wet to drive the truck and trailer on.

Now Wally must proceed as he originally planned, taking the shed apart before big pick up day.

It was a mild day with a forecast of light showers so I came out to bag the old shingles.

Wally carried on late into the evening, then hauled away the heavy bags I'd filled in a wheelbarrow.

We were both pleased with how much the other had accomplished. 

Yesterday a robin had a rest in the budding maple tree outside our window 

as the evening sun went down on a cold sunny day

This morning we woke to light falling snow, here as I look out on the budding lilac.

The snow had melted by mid morning. 

The Three Sisters that I've pretty much finished,

mostly in coloured pencil with some paint pen embellishments, the blue and pink hair done in glitter paint pen, the outline in black fountain pen. I was unhappy with the intensity of the background that I had worked so laboriously on so I subdued it with gesso that surprisingly dragged a bit of the pink coloured pencil around so I filled in some spaces with more coloured pencil.

and that's it - except for a few thoughts:

April is such a busy time for so many people. We rouse ourselves like budding lilacs or nesting birds with so many plans. We often feel pulled in "a million" ways. We want to please others or we have personal agenda. We are watching the clock, time tables, deadlines. 

Busyness implies a focus on something other than ourselves.  In western society this is considered a good thing as self-focus is considered a betrayal of the tribe, the social group  to which we belong (selfishness).  It's easy to feel torn, sacrificing things or relationships that we genuinely care about because we feel compelled to meet these external demands, possibly demands from the very people we care about. It kinda takes the joy out of living.

Ironically, as John Lennon said,

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

There it is again: busy. Busy doing what? Planning, working, focussing on externals. And, as such, we reap the consequences of our actions.  Sometimes they are not what we wanted, but there it is: the unfolding of a life, such as it is.

Living mindfully, with conscious choice, often requires us to break with our personal self-image as someone who is efficient, always accommodating, not selfish, etc. It becomes necessary to learn how to say no- and to live with those consequences too. But at least they come out of an authenticity that enables one to be, in the end, one's own best friend, and not another victim of unconscious living. There is a certain peace one can take from allowing ourselves to be, connecting with one's own

.

PRESENCE

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