This week I went back to my sketchbook. It has not been my habit to go to it for play or working out problems, but two great influences, who have excellent work habits, have advised me to keep a drawing habit if I want to find my way into a style that is uniquely my own.
Back in November I left off handstitching this abstracted piece
which I see now I like better on the backside.
I stalled out on this little sketch as well.
Two days ago I tried intuitive painting in India ink. After 3 of them I was exhausted.
This is the third one.
Yesterday I got out the crow quill nib and did a drawing painted with muddy watercolour washes.
The painting as a whole seemed unsuccessful but I like this detail of a little Border Collie rounding up his sheep. There is always something to be gleaned from these little experiments.
I've been having a hard time "lightening up" lately, bringing such a heavy load of baggage to my creative time. I think the sense of loss I felt this week at not entering a local community show AND closing my business account after 35 years brought home the seriousness of my commitment to myself as an artist for art's sake. How odd to mourn the loss of my public self; I suppose there is something to do with identity in it. Regardless, of the vast amount of freedom I have created for myself, I am sure I have made the right choices. Now the trick will be to narrow in on what really matters.
Breathing into the moment we summon THIS, our life, to us.